There is no point being a celebrity unless you get to have the best treats when it really matters. And when does it matter more than when celebrating the start of your gilded existence? The crowning glory of a birthday is the cake. An unctuous, sumptuous, towering castle of sponge, creamy filling and icing make us feels like royalty for the day. Little wonder that celebs, who normally feel pretty special, are demanding ever more elaborate cakes.
Just think about the cake that Boy George had made for his 50th birthday by celebrated London cake-maker Choccywoccydoodah. This vast gateau was vibrant in dripping pink and yellow, bedecked with flowers with a round, colourful, edible portrait of his fully made up Chameleon-ness in a pink hat (perfectly, a small green reptile sat atop). It embodied all that is best about The Boy in one delectable confection.
So, what should other celebs have as the perfect cake for them? Take, for example our current golden wonder, Jessica Ennis. Queen of the London 2012 Olympics games, her ideal birthday cake should feature a super-tasty heptathlon, with a chocolate straw javelin, a marzipan hurdle, a popping candy sandpit… the works. As long as somewhere amongst the candy heaven there lies a huge, golden chocolate coin.
Or how about someone not so sugar and spice? Equally delicious, according to teenage girls, is Harry Styles, the exuberantly coiffed 1D ladies’ man. His treat should be a moist apple cake to remind him of his favourite juice, covered in orange icing, his fave colour, covered in lots of chocolate curls around a big chewy mic. Or maybe it should have big cat on it, to symbolise his famous prowling for the fairer sex….perhaps a marzipan cougar?
Victoria Beckham would be a challenge to bake for – do they make carb-free cakes? Still, the no-flour base would be beautifully decorated, with a silken layer of royal icing, being snipped at by silver candy dressmakers’ scissors, scattered all over with Golden Balls.
A real man’s-man cake would be fun to create. Daniel Craig’s birthday cake would be a pistol-shaped sponge soaked in gin and vermouth, topped with bikini-clad marzipan babes lounging on union jack beach towels, the whole exploding with mini-fireworks instead of candles. Ideally it would be baked on the overheated engine of an Aston Martin, for added authenticity.
Danny ‘is-he-a-Sir-yet?’ Boyle deserves a cake, birthday or not, after all the stress he must have suffered to create his Opening Ceremony masterpiece. Let’s give him a soothing Earl Grey-infused sponge, wound about with spun-sugar strips of film for old time’s sake. Then, just when he least expects it, we’ll have Her Majesty jump out…. Well, he did it for us!
Whatever the style and flavour, a no-holds-barred baked treat is just what is needed to delight any starry British birthday boy or girl. A personalised birthday cake is cheaper than a night at Bouji’s, tailor-made and tasty too – absolutely perfect.
Powered by Facebook Comments
Filed Under: Trends & Memes